well it's almost 0700 and i have'nt been to bed since i woke up at midnight to find luke still not in. i ring him and he tells me that he's at linda's again...but that's what he said last time when in fact he then told me later he was with lloyd. so what do i believe? well i've made a decision and this is going to affect me more than i care to admit. if he can't bring himself to tell me the truth than so be it. i'm sure in some way it's his way of continueing what he said to me once before and that was to protect me. i just hope that he can bring himself to honest with himself. i feel that he has not been faithful, and should he, we are not together anymore. while i sill look for a bloody job and live off nothing practically, why should luke feel that he has to sneak around? it has to stop. i would like to be friends but am not sure if that can happen. all i know is that i'm crazy for him and the good times have always outweighed the bad. i know there are some people that have not even spoken to me and have only seen the one side but hey at the end of the day, i know what has happened in this house. only luke and i know. i'm not fighting anymore. i'm not doing anything anymore other than walk away and see what happens.